Give Me The Names, Santa!
- Posted by Peter Chapman on 2010-01-09 17:44:38
- 0 comments


This video is so perfectly done; I don't care that Christmas was a month ago.


This video is so perfectly done; I don't care that Christmas was a month ago.


This not only applies to video game characters, but also all the thousands of henchmen that have died for being inconveniently between Bond and the girl.



The reason that contests always say "no purchase required" stems from FCC rules that deem non-state lotteries are illegal. So, to avoid the technicality of the contest becoming a lottery they offer the ability to get your submission into the contest free of charge, so no lottery and therefore it is legal! Problem solved.


Somebody actually wrote this, thinking the YouTube makes me sad.




THAI INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY ORGANIZATION! CONGRATULATIONS!
Thailand International Lottery Organization
Bangkok Branch Office
Address: 3 Rajdamnern Avenue
Bangkok 10200 Thailand
Congratulations from our members of staff. We are THAILAND LOTTERY AGENCY, You don't have to purchase a ticket to enter this lottery, your email indicating you as a winner in the lottery programs held by the Thai Lottery Organization.
Following official publication results of the Email electronic on line
Sweepstakes organized by the Thai lottery corporation, the Slide circular award
and in conjunction with the foundation for the promotion of software products,
(F.P.S.) held on the 1st of February 2008, in Bangkok Thailand.
All 25 winning email addresses were randomly selected from a batch of 50,000,000 international emails each from Canada, Australia, United States, Asia, Europe, Middle East, Africa and Oceania as part of our international promotions program which is conducted annually, consequently, you have been approved for a total pay out of ONE MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS ( $1, 000. 000.000 USD).
This Lottery was promoted and sponsored by a conglomerate of some multinational companies as part of their social responsibility to the citizens in the communities where they have operational base. Further more your details(e-mail address) falls within our Bangkok representative office in Bangkok Thailand, as indicated in your play coupon and your prize of ( $1, 000.000.00 USD) will be released to you from this regional branch office in bangkok Thailand.
Your fund is now deposited with our Bank/Security Company Bangkok Thailand and insured in your name. Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep this award from public notice until your claim has been processed, and your winning Cheque have being sent to you or remitted to your account, as this is part of our security protocol, to avoid double claiming and unwarranted taking of advantage of this program by participants, as has happened in the past.
HOW TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE
These are your identification numbers.
Ticket number.....................085-12876077-09
Serial number.......................51390-0
Lucky number...................03-05-12-14-28-38
Ref number...................N.EGS/3662367114/13
To begin your lottery claims, Please contact our Thai Lottery Co-ordinator as follows Mr.
Kane Iva.
Name:Mr. Kane Iva
Email: codinator_mrkane2007@yahoo.com.hk
Tel: +(66)873307644
You are to send the completed verification form below to the co-ordinator whose email address is given above so that you will be advised on what to do to get your prize money. Congratulations once more!!
Remember, all prize money must be claimed not later than 29th of March 2008. Any claim not made by this date will be returned to HIS MAJESTYS DEPARTMENT OF THE TREASURY.CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Once again from all members of our staff and thank you for being a part of our International Promotions program.We wish you continued good fortunes.


Yours Sincerely,
DR. Raymond Hisashi
Vice President Thai! Lotto Org.
Mrs. Tina Akira,
President Thai! Lotto Org.
These emails could really do themselves some good if they were to explain the bizarre addresses from which they are sent. Mr. Iva’s letter comes from yahoo.com.hk (Yahoo! Hong Kong) and not from the expected th.yahoo.com (Yahoo! Thailand). Well, the expected would really be that Thai lottery winning notifications come from a Thai government domain. At least they should forge an email address that has some similarity with the official site: (http://www.glo.or.th/)
The official Thai lottery is known strictly as the Government Lottery Office, not the Thai International Lottery Organization, not the Thailand Lottery Agency, not the Thai Lottery Organization, and especially not the Thai! Lotto Org. That is four different and incorrect references to the general concept of a lottery held in Thailand.
It does not come up very often, but it is illegal for United States citizens to participate in the few foreign lotteries that exist.
The address specified does not exist. This is as close as I could get.
Kane Iva is not a Thai name.
The Foundation for the Promotion of Software Products (FPS) is yet another nonexistent organization. I also do not know why it would. I am already using the computer, so where is the necessity to promote the use of “software products” even more?
The Thai Lottery Agency, or whatever it is calling itself, never explains how it got 50 million email addresses, including my own. I suppose I am too overjoyed to win to worry about such pesky details.
You know it is a poorly written scam when the email tells you that your “Cheque” is in the mail, but you also need to contact to organization to claim the check that is already in the mail. But the money is really waiting in a bank account insured under you name...This is too confusing.
Perhaps I need to enter the Thai lottery, because the winning numbers never change.
Who sent this email? The first signature states the author is Mr. Kane Iva. The second is from a Carl. And the third is a Dr. Raymond Hisashi.
The included image that features not a single person from Thailand is from the British National Lottery funding program.
Congratulations from our members of staff.
Further more your details(e-mail address) falls within our Bangkok representative office in Bangkok Thailand, as indicated in your play coupon and your prize of ( $1, 000.000.00 USD) will be released to you from this regional branch office in bangkok Thailand.
Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep this award from public notice until your claim has been processed, and your winning Cheque have being sent to you or remitted to your account, as this is part of our security protocol, to avoid double claiming and unwarranted taking of advantage of this program by participants, as has happened in the past.



Hello
Friend,
I sincerely hope that this letter will not come to you as a surprise or
an embarrassment since we neither knew each other before nor had any
neither previous correspondence nor contact. Do accept my sincere apologies
if my mail does not meet your personal ethics although, I wish to use this
medium to get in touch with you first because it's fastest means. I believe
it will be a surprise to you as we have never met before, and I am deeply
sorry if I have in any manner disturbed your privacy. Please forgive this
unusual manner of contacting you. Let me start by introducing myself. My name
is Al Walid khalid, A Saudian national From Saudi Arabia . I have been
diagnosed
with Oesophageal cancer. It has defied all forms of medical treatment, and
right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical
experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really
cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich, I
was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my
business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all
this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or
make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance
to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have
lived it. Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my
property and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as a
few close friends .I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I
have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one
of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed money to
some charity organizations in the U.A.E, Somalia and Malaysia. Now that my
health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I once
asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the
money which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria and Pakistan;
they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them
anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.
The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of Six
Million dollars ($6,000,000.00) that I have with financial institution
abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatch it to
charity organizations.
N/B: KINDLY NOTE THAT 80% of these funds must go to victims of recent
disasters and another 20% for your effort and time. Upon receipt of your
response, I shall communicate with you, and let you know the details of the
transfer. Whatever your actions and your decision, I thank you for taking
the time to read this email
Regards,
Al Walid Khalid
Mr. Khalid greets the reader with “Hello Friend,” and then immediately apologizes in three lengthy sentences making up 107 words for his informal attitude and his invasion of privacy. Now, make up your mind Al Walid; are we friends, or aren’t we?
“A Saudian national From Saudi Arabia.” I never would have guessed. A “Saudian” national who originates from Saudi Arabia! Unfortunately for our troubled friend, “Saudian” isn’t a word. If you wish to describe a person from Saudi Arabia, you can’t just add a letter and call it a day. You’re choices are either “Saudi” or “Saudi Arabian.”
He has “Oesophageal cancer,” not that has any affect on his situation besides evoking more sympathy. Turns out, “oesophagus” is the British spelling for “esophagus.” Outlook for such a diagnosis is very poor, usually rooted in prolonged smoking.
Interestingly enough, Al Walid Khalid never explicitly asks you to do anything. I can assume that he wants a certain sum to retrieve his 6 million, but perhaps, he simply wants to vent to random strangers he refers to as “friends.”
My name is Al Walid khalid, A Saudian national From Saudi Arabia .



Your
woman shack up with your mate that is why you are alone.
Along of the size of his aggregate drove her crazy with him.
Do not panic man. Today you have astonishing chance to Increase your device
size.
This is your possibility to change your sexual life.
%XTRAZ_WWW%XTRAZ_DOMAINS
Where I live, my woman and my mate are the same person.
The primary definition of the noun, “aggregate,” means a sum total. In the United Kingdom, an aggregate is the total of a sports teams scores over a season or a tournament. In construction, it is referred to as the ingredients that are used to make concrete, and in geology aggregate is a mineral mixture resembling that of rock. I suppose that this spammer looked up English words meaning something along the lines of rock hard and for whatever reason choose to use aggregate. Sadly, I’ve never and perhaps will never, hear the word aggregate in common speech to refer to a “male device.”
Do not be shame because of of your male device size
Along of the size of his aggregate drove her crazy with him.
Today you have astonishing chance to Increase your device size
This is your possibility to change your sexual life.



Dearest,
Thanks for finding time to go through my mail. I am Mrs. Fatima Hinga, the wife of Lieutenant Colonel John Garang Hinga the Leader of Sudanese People's Liberation Govement (SPLM) one of the leading political parties in Sudan which was formed in 1983. He died during the out brake of the recent civil war in Sudan. Before his death, he held many important offices which includes being the prime minister in a coalition government between 1986 to 1989.
He also was the leader of the Umma Party a strong political organization in Sudan. After his tenure as coalition prime minister, he was made to be in-charge of the payment of Sudanese Media communications department in 2001.
My husband was killed by a group known as Sadiq al Mahdi at the on set of the civil war while fighting for the liberation of the Sudanese people from the hands of a dictatorship government.
I am 47 years old now and seriously ill although I am now receiving treatment
in a hospital here in Thailand. During the period of our marriage we were
blessed with a male child by name Abdul Hinga who is also here taking care of
me. After the death of my husband, I inherited a huge amount of money
(12million US dollars) which my late husband deposited
with a Security Company in Thailand for safe keeping.
I now
decided to contact you to assist me and my son to claim this money from where
it was deposited and probably guide us in investing the fund in a worthwhile
flourishing business over there. I hereby ask for your help and assistance.
Although I am a novice in business, I have an eye on rigid properties. Your
advice on other areas of private sector
will be highly appreciated. I believe that you would be of great help in
guiding my son to a successful business investment in your country even when I
am gone.
I will appreciate if you will show interest in collaborating with us, as this
transaction will benefit both of us on joint venture partnership.Furthermore I
am ready to give you a good negotiable percentage cash reward for your
assistance. Detailed information on other proceedings will be made available to
you upon receiving your reply showing interest
in collaborating with us as I look forward to your urgent reply.
Sincerely
Yours
Fatima Hinga.
The “Sudanese People's Liberation Govement (SPLM)” doesn’t technically exist. There’s a Sudan People’s Liberation Army (SPLA) and the Sudan People’s Liberation Movement (SPLM). Based on their acronym I’ll give this spammer the benefit of the doubt that they meant to say movement.
You and your husband, Mrs. Hinga, seemed to be pretty involved in the politics of Sudan. So, how did you end up in Thailand for medical treatment following his death? Are the Thai people renowned in Sudan for their skilled medicine? And, does Thailand even have “security companies?” Ever hear of a Swiss bank?
Furthermore, I’ll have to fault this spammer for not giving an explanation on how Mrs. Hinga found my email address or why I was specially chosen by this saddened ill widow. How can I trust you Mrs. Hinga? If we are going to get this money, we’re going to have to work together.
My husband was killed by a group known as Sadiq al Mahdi at the on set of the civil war while fighting for the liberation of the Sudanese people from the hands of a dictatorship government.


Attn:
With due Respect, i crave your indulgence as i contacted you in such a surprising manner, but I respectfully insist that you read this letter carefully as I am optimistic it will open doors for unimaginable financial rewards for both of us. I got your contact from a directory data, and hoping that you are a reliable and honest person that will assist in championing this transaction.
In a brief introduction, I am Mr.Lawson Kossi, an internal auditor with a financial institution here in Lome-Togo. With due respect and regard, I am contacting you on a business transaction that will be beneficial to both parties at the end.
In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of USD$5.5M in an account that belongs to, an expatriate oil consultant who died along with his wife and their only daughter in an auto accident on 21st July 2002 while coming back from a cultural festival. Upon Maturity of the deposit, the fund was confined to a dormant status where upon we made this discovery, and further inquiries by me revealed that all his supposed next of kin died alongside with him in the event of the crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.
It is standard practice that after the expiration of 7 years the funds will be declared as an "unclaimed asset resource" and the account is closed. My contacting you is to allow your particulars to be forwarded to this institution as the family member or next of Kin to our deceased customer for the purpose of benefiting the content of the account. All the arrangement to put claim over this fund has been perfected by me and I will assist you on steps to follow. Every necessary document shall be obtained on your behalf to back-up this claim.
Needless to say that the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return we demand your complete honesty and trust. Therefore this transaction will be based on the following terms and condition as stated below:
1. Our conviction of your transparency, honesty and deligence.
2. That you will treat this transaction with utmost secrecy and confidentiality.
3. That you will not ask for more share than what is negotiated or try to sit on the funds or indulge in any form of blackmail once the funds is under your custody.
4. That upon receipt of the funds, you will release and disburse 10% of the total fund to Motherless home here or there then the remaining 90% will be shared by both parties in the ratio 60/40.
Remember that with my support, this transaction is risk free and will be done under a legitimate arrangement that will protect us from any breach of the law. We also hope to conclude this transaction within a short period of time if you accord us your unalloyed support and co-operation. And am assuring you that with my position in the bank this money will hit your account successfully before 9 official bank working days.
As soon as you accept this condition and finally indicate your interest in this deal the first thing is to send your telephone number for voice to voice communication and further establishment of trust, this I will then guide you on other steps to follow.
To further cement our trust on you, we will demand for a written agreement or any other proof of loyalty from you when you finally accept this offer.
Kindly forward the following information
YOUR FULL NAMES//.................
YOUR NATIONALITY//...............
TELEPHONE/FAX//.....................
Waiting eagerly to hear from you soonest 00228 9239053.
Best Regards,
Mr Lawson Kossi.
Our friend Mr. Kossi works for a “financial institution” located in “Lome-Togo.” Lomé is the capital of the small African country Togo, situated on the Gulf of Guinea. Why would an oil consultant be attending “cultural festival[s]” in a country whose prominent industry is phosphate mining. It is also reassuring to know that this particular financial institution uses Hotmail for its business communique.
I am contacting you on a business transaction that will be beneficial to both parties at the end.
Our conviction of your transparency, honesty and deligence.
That upon receipt of the funds, you will release and disburse 10% of the total fund to Motherless home here or there then the remaining 90% will be shared by both parties in the ratio 60/40.
Waiting eagerly to hear from you soonest